Daisy takes a bath.
Winter is full upon us, and so is my winter skin. I get so spoiled in the hot, humid summers here, rarely needing moisturizer, glistening like a frog in a bog. Then winter creeps the cold and dry into all the cracks and my skin dries out until it looks and feels like paper. Mmmm sexy.
I love to warm up on a chilly winter day with a hot bath, but soaking in a tub of hot water is murder on my skin – I dry up faster than Lindsay Lohan in rehab. I used to douse myself with bottles and bottles of lotion afterwards, but my skin always seemed to soak it right up and be just as tight and dry as ever.
But wait Gentle Reader! Despair not! I have discovered the secret to baby smooth winter skin, and because I love you all so much, I shall reveal it to you. Drumroll please (you have to imagine the drumroll yourself)….
Twice weekly oil massage/salt scrub/hot bath!
It sounds decadent, which it is. And it’s also easy and cheap, and don’t the Herban Cowgirls just LOVE easy and cheap? So here’s how you do it.
Warm up the bathroom and gather your usual towel, washcloth and soap. Go to the kitchen and get a dish of regular table salt. Get some oil, a few tablespoons to a quarter cup. Any kind of oil will do. I use whatever’s cheapest or whatever’s going rancid (hey, can’t eat it, might as well use it!), usually olive oil.
DISCLAIMER: I am about to suggest pouring oil on your naked body while sitting in a slippery tub! This is clearly an idea fraught with peril! If you have never done this before, BE CAREFUL!! Rubber mats and extra towels can save you some bruises (or worse!), but use your judgment and BE SAFE. Again: DANGER! SLIPPERY OIL!
Okay, now take your clothes off and rub the oil all over your body while you sit in the slippery tub. Really massage it in there. I like to go from the extremities towards the heart. I usually do this part standing, since the tub is COLD under my butt, but you may feel safer sitting. Again, the slippery oil. Danger and all.
Once you’ve oiled yourself slippery, it’s time to salt scrub those hamhocks. Get some salt on those hands and polish that skin, working in circles from the extremities towards the heart. I hope I don’t have to tell everyone to avoid your face with this treatment. Please do not scrub handfuls of salt into your face. You will not feel spa fresh doing that.
When you’re covered shoulders to feet in oil and salt, it’s time for your hot bath. Yay! I like to add a few drops of lavender essential oil and swish it around. Rinse off all the salt, letting it dissolve into the hot water. Massage the oil into your skin, using the washcloth to remove excess oil from all your cracks and crevices. After a good soaking, if I still feel overly oily, I rinse off a few minutes more in a hot shower.
HERE IS ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: I am about to tell you to hoist your oiled body out of a ceramic tub! Danger!! Use a towel to dry your hands off, or put a hand towel on top of your rubber bathmat, or call someone in to help you – whatever you have to do to get out of the tub safely. Also make sure you remove all excess oil with your washcloth and/or towel. Oil will stain your clothing and sheets! Use caution please!!
Okay now hoist your oiled body out of your tub. Rub yourself dry with your towel. Congratulations. Your skin is now softer than it’s been since the day you were born. Now put on your jammies and snuggle under the covers with a book and some hot chocolate.